idiots

Alright, love how you think its so cute to tweet about me and obvi think I wouldn't see it. You were wrong. I'm not the person you think I am, and there's probably more to the story. So why don't you take your little update and put it elsewhere before I do it for you.

ranting like a motherfucker

I love having those good, AMAZING days where everything just sort of falls into place. Everything works out in the end, and you just feel all happy inside. But I hate that whenever I have one of those great days, as soon as I come home it all goes to shit. Trying to have a rational conversation with my parents is like trying to drive through a brick wall. Sure you can try, but nothing's going to come from it except a lot of anger. I love the fact that my parents care enough about me that they want me to make the right choices in life, but after 16- going on 17 years, I know the main differences between right and wrong. And yes I motherfucking know that I still don't know everything and I'm still young, but I'm smart for my age. I'm not asking for anything major, I'm not asking to break any laws, I'm not asking for anything that is too hard to grant. 16 does seem young, I agree. But as soon as I'm in college and I'm 18 I'll be forced to make my own choices. If I don't have the opportunities to make the best decisions for me now, what's gonna happen when I don't have my parents there to hold my hand? I have to grow up eventually. You might see me as your little girl forever, but the truth is, I'm not going to be your little girl for much longer until I'm away from home at school and all moved out. 

My biggest pet peeve in the world is when I've been respectful when other people are talking and as soon as I'm starting to share my point of view- someone fucking interrupts me. FUCK NO. I cannot stand being interrupted whatsoever. If I'm nice about it and ask to share my point without interruptions and you're STILL interrupting because you think it's "cute", shit's gonna fucking go down. I get so frustrated. You want me to listen to you, you had better fucking listen to me.

Oh, just happened to see a picture on dat site Facebook and I think that the shirt you're wearing is nice and all.. it's just too bad that I was the original purchaser of the shirt.

Fuck the bullshit

I hate having a good day and going to one class and it getting completely ruined. Not because of what class it is, but because of the way people act in there. I KNOW that I made some shitty choices last year and I wasn't the best person I could be.. but honestly I've been trying to change that. Apparently some people don't know when to let the past go. A mistake is something to learn from. No matter how many mistakes you make, as long as you can learn from those choices, there's a new future ahead of you. I'm not that person anymore. As soon as I had the realization that I was ruining my life as well as my reputation you can be damn sure I started to turn that shit around. Sorry that I haven't done anything to keep my name in your damn mouth this year. Actually no. Sorry I'm not sorry. Can you sit there and think of one thing I've done this year to encourage the reputation I had last year? No. 

Sure I go out on the weekends with my friends, drink a little drink, whatever. But some of the people you would never think go out, do the same exact thing. Who are you to judge my life? You don't know me, you don't know what I go through at home, or the hardships as wellll as rewards I have had put in my life. Don't make me out to be someone I'm not. 

Once you make a name/reputation for yourself I know that's the first thing people think of when they hear your name. Guess what. Talk is cheap. Things and people have the ability to change. It's just whether you take that opportunity and make the effort.

And also if you're in a relationship, act like it. You're lucky to have whoever it is you have in your life, and chances are- they feel the same way about you. But if you're gonna go fucking OR flirting around, you shouldn't be shocked at the consequences. And by the time you realize what you've been doing, it might be too late. Do you really want to take that chance?

Maybe I'm coming off a little hypocritical because I haven't always had the greatest relationships, but I realized mistakes I made after it was already too late. 

...

i don't know what to do anymore..

hoes gonnnn' be hoes

no comment.
none whatsoever.

oh my god. shut the fuck up.

seriously.

loko loko

I bitch and complain an awful lot and say that I have it so bad when I get in trouble or when things don't go my way. And sometimes I really do believe that I've got it horrible and then I see what some people go through everyday and how hard it might be for them to keep going at times- I see that I really dont have it that bad. They're the ones who really have it bad. Shut up that you got your phone taken or that your parents are yelling at you, or anything else. It might seem bad at times, and I might do it too- but seriously, it'll get better; it's gonna blow over eventually. Look at what other people are going through. No one deserves pain, but odds are- some people have it a whole lot worse than you.

Keep your head up. <3

"now who's the snicker licker!"

wow.

this is ridiculous. none of this should have EVER gotten this far. i shouldn't feel like i do right now and you shouldn't either. why can't you just GO AWAY. damn. get out of this. just stop.

i want to go home and sleep for days now. 

and after last night, i was sooo happy and asdasjdkla. 

"let the rain wash away my sanity, 'cause i wanna feel the thunder- i wanna scream.."

3:15, please hurry the hell up so I can get out of here.

you go on and on AND on about certain things. but what makes you any different than anyone else. you're not better than them or me. so get off your high horse and grow some lady balls.




ANYWAYS.
i'm so happy. <3 i'm so glad. thank you for everything.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

i'm pretty sure you're gonna read this.
you should be HAPPY for me. it's not what you want, but if you want me to be happy- let me BE happy and make the choices that are going to make me the happiest in the end. you know if you were in my situation, months down the road- you would do it too. this is what I want. maybe not your choice, but be happy for me. i know what i'm getting into, but i also know how to handle myself. i've grown up and matured a lot in the past couple of months. it's my choice. i'm not asking you to be around it or like it, but at least support my decision. that would mean the world to me.

let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday

No one is perfect. Yeah, it's cliche- I know. But it's also the truth. You don't have a right to judge anyone else and put them down for a choice that was theirs to make. If you're going to be so hypocritical as to judge someone and then make a choice just like the one they make, that's ridic.

Some people are going to make worse choices than others did, or might ever will but that still doesn't mean you have to spread that around. Your business is yours, it's not everyone else's. 

Just because you've known someone for years and what they like and don't like and most things about them, doesnt mean that they can't stray away from that picture you've painted of them and do something a little out of the ordinary. Things are constantly changing right before our eyes, whether we want to believe it or not. You just have to take a step back and really think about things.

If people want to talk about you and be hypocritical, let them. It won't matter in a few years anyways. You won't remember half of the things that happened in high school, either. It might seem like the biggest deal, but it's really not. 

Who cares who slept with who, and what so and so did this weekend- I mean, really. It's not that big of a deal so shut the fuck up and be happy. Quit stressing.

I had to get that all out. 

But anyways. Pretty okay weekend, overall. Worked, saw Jerrin, saw Sarah, saw Shelley, went to Miss LE practice. Super excited for Saturday! 

sometimes a good cry is all you really need to feel better.

makin' love to the moneyyy

okay. i'm ready for cute clothes, warm weather and the beach. this snow is RIDIC. it's allll over facebook,  but i mean- look out your window. it is not supposed to look like that outside in south carolina. but anyways! i was going out earlier and i had no problem the first time i went out. so then later, i went to leave for work- and when i started to stop.. my car wouldn't stop. it was sliding on the ice and there was a car coming. it was so scary. but the car slowed down really fast and let me out. thank goodness for nice people.

tonight. at work. i had to get down on my hands and knees. legitly.
and scrub the floor... >.< i don't clean. not even at my own house. and i was on the ground, SCRUBBING for a good little while... it was awful.

definitely woke up sick this morning. so upset about that. it kinda sucks so bad. but i'm finally getting to watch the new season of jersey shore! hahahaha, it's hilarious.

but. i'm upset that first semester is over. i'm glad we're closer to summer- yes. but not looking forward to wednesday when alll my hard classes will start. i've definitely slacked off this semester. but i had honors world history, spanish 2, free block, and dance.. pretty easy. but come wednesday, - spanish 3, honors english 3, algebra 2 and then honors bio 1. in other words, i'm fucked. whoop.

you can't bullshit a bullshiter

I don't feeeeeeeel good. My throat is killing me and I'm so sore I can barely move. Gah. This is awful.
Only one more day and it'll be the weekend, and I'll be free. And I won't have any of these classes! Yay.

I realized I never really thought about my resolutions. I've never really been serious about them.. - or had any, at that. So I'll start now?

(Attempt at) Resolutions
1. Have as much fun as possible
2. Don't stress over the small things
3. Save up for a new ipod
4. Stay out of trouble with my parents (!!!!)
5. Be nice to my sister
6. Don't eat as much junk food
7. Keep my head up


I know it's not that much. But it needs to happen. I wanna save my money so I can buy new Toms and a not broken ipod.

-
I don't know why people spread things and talk as much shit as they do. I get that everyone does it, and I have before. If you say you've never talked shit- that's a lie. And I know when you hear something, you want to tell your friends about it so they know what you know- but when you're in that position you don't like it very much. So how about keep your damn mouth shut, thanks. I'm not going to be nice to you if you're gonna talk shit.

If someone's happy, let them be.

i'm here without you baby,

but you're still with me in my dreams.
-

today.. uneventful. had to stay after. again. then tanning bed, and now home for a little bit.
so glad i have my restricted finally <3

-
you can wish and hope and cry allll you want- but that doesn't mean something that happened will go away. you can push something to the farthest part of the back of your mind- but it's still right there. it's not gonna go away. you can be perfectly fine without a person, but sometimes a part of you needs them.. in some way. always will. you can resent a person with everything, but feelings change. they always do; just like people. just because you say you hate someone doesn't mean anything. everyone lies. you never know.

whether that makes sense or not, i needed to get it out.

she's better known for the things that she does on the mattress

Oh 2010. I've had the best memories this past year and met some of the greatest people ever. Mistakes and regrets come along with some of the good, but in the end- it was all worth it. The beginning of 2010 wasn't the greatest time and things steadily got better over the year.
It's not so much that I changed this year. I mean, I did. But that's just one of those things that comes with time. I grew up a lot, too.

But my New Year's has been great so far. But I haven't slept in about... a long time. Hahahahahah. But anyways. Happy New Years!